Friday, February 15, 2013

Pretending to be a grown-up


I am almost 32, yet I still have to remind myself that I actually am an adult and I’m not just pretending to be one.  This shouldn't be hard for me to grasp.  I've been married for 8 years.  I've owned 4 houses.  I have a pretty successful career, which although doesn't always feel like quite where I think I should be, isn't exactly something a teenager would be qualified to do.  This would imply that I think of myself as an immature kid, which is hardly the case.  I honestly think I’m one of the least fun people I know, and could probably stand to be less serious some of the time. But still I have to remind myself somewhat regularly that I really am an adult.
Today at lunch was one of those times.  It is 55 degrees outside and sunny, so a nearly perfect day for mid-February.  I work in downtown Baltimore on the Inner Harbor.  I've been working here for over 3 months, but it still seems surreal.  So today I walked over to Panera Bread with my iPad, and sat at a table eating my lunch while I checked some email and read.  Just like about 70% of the other grownups in the place.   Still I felt like an impostor of sorts. 
I've mostly decided that I’m never going to really feel like an adult, and I am mostly okay with that.  

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